Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
