Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
