I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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