My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
