You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
