dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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