remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
