..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Small penises have feelings too.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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