i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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