when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize