We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
