I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
