On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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