Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
