Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
