OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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