I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
