I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
