we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
