i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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