i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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