Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
