i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
