i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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