He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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