Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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