Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
