Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize