We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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