Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
