marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
