We won't sleep together?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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