There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
