Im at strip club and am horny
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
