Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw a hot homeless man
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
