don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
