Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
