i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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