Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
