all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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