i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i would one night stand the shit outta him
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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