jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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