Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize