i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I forget how to act sober
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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