Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
