My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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