The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
