The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
