had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
