Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
