I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
