One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
