just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
