We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
