I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
