Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
