I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
