I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
