Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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