We're like a lot better than the average bears
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
