My first STD was from a foam party
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize