Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
