you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
